Devil's Due Part II
by hazelmom
Summary: Diane shows up again, and wreaks havoc in Abby and McGee's lives. Spoilers for Devil's Trifecta
1. Chapter 1

10

10

A/N: Last night's tag was a one shot, but a lot of people including me are thirsty for some McAbby, and as I was driving home tonight, the narrative began to grow. It's written in as much the same style as I would imagine Steven Binder's to be. It's dedicated to Lia who is decidedly not a romance fan, but I don't care. Thanks for listening to me today. Sheila

Devil's Due Part II of III

"This is not a good time…I'm working! You know, the thing you do where you think about something besides yourself…Okay, that was really sort of a one time thing and my name is not Chucky!…I'm not that good a listener. Ask DiNozzo. I ignore him all the time…Seriously, my hair is particularly heinous today and my elbows are un…pointy. I'm not the guy for this…Come on, you have friends. Everyone has friends…Oh man! Don't cry…Please, don't cry…Seriously, I am the worst person to talk to about relationships…Okay! Okay! I'll be there, but just for an hour. Promise me it's just for an hour…You promised, and I'm going to hold you to it." McGee clicked off and sagged against the orange wall around the corner from the bullpen.

….

"Uh, Boss," McGee said. "Can I buy you a coffee?"

Gibbs glanced up. "Knock yourself out. You know what I like."

Gibbs went back to his reading, and McGee stood there, blinking. "Umm, maybe you'd like to walk with me."

Gibbs sniffed. "Nope, I'm good."

McGee's efforts had now attracted the attention of the rest of the team. Tony smiled. "Hey Boss, McGee is hitting on you."

McGee's head snapped up. "What?!"

Gibbs blinked. "Huh?"

Ziva rolled her eyes. "Gibbs, I think McGee wants to have a private conversation with you."

He shrugged. "Then why are we talking about coffee?"

McGee looked at the ceiling. "Please God, I ask for so little."

Gibbs grinned and got up. "McGee and I are going for coffee."

When they hit the elevator, he turned to McGee, "What's up?"

"She's back."

Gibbs winced. "What?! Victor's back in town. I was assured she was back in captivity."

McGee shook his head frantically. "Victor's moving out. Said he needs more time to think. Diane needs a friend. I'm her new BFF!"

"Tell her to go away, McGee."

"It doesn't work," McGee hissed. "Emily is staying with Fornell, and so Diane is footloose and fancy free. I came home two nights ago and found her parked outside my apartment. I had to sleep in a motel. The same thing last night. I washed my underwear in the sink, Boss. Do you hear me?! I'm a refugee! She texted me 37 times today. I finally said yes to meeting her for drinks tonight because there's nothing left to do but give in. You have to help me."

Gibbs shook his head. "It's complicated, Tim. She's kind of confused about me right now. Thinks I'm available."

"That's it! I'm drowning and you're not going to throw me a line. What about having my six, Boss? There are rules about the six!"

"Calm down, McGee. I mean, what could she want from you?"

McGee threw up his hands. "It's impossible to guess. One minute I'm her girlfriend, and the next minute she needs someone to hold her and tell her she's beautiful. In between times, I serve as a verbal punching bag. She doesn't like my hair. What's wrong with my hair?! I wash it and keep it cut. What more should I be doing with it?!"

"It looks fine to me."

"Thanks. Everything is good now. The guy who cuts his hair with a gardening shears thinks my hair looks nice."

"Hey!"

"Forgive me. I'm not myself. I'm desperate. Fornell will find out, and then years from now, people will be talking about my disappearance in the same way they talk about Jimmy Hoffa."

"I'll talk to Fornell."

"I don't want to be her boy toy. Please Boss. I just want my life back."

"It's going to be okay, McGee. Just need a day or two to think this through. In the meantime, just stay to public venues and you should be fine."

…

"He's enjoying this," Fornell said, wagging a finger.

"He is not enjoying this, Tobias. Kid looks about ready to swallow his tongue." Gibbs sat at his worktable contemplating another shot of bourbon.

"He's not innocent. Behind that geeky exterior beats the heart of a real jerk. I can tell. He's going to take advantage of her."

"As if that were possible. You're starting to confuse me, Tobias. For a guy who thinks his ex-wife is the anti-Christ, you sure put a lot of energy into who she spends time with."

"She's my daughter's mother, for heaven's sakes!"

"Sit down and have a drink before you have a heart attack."

"What's wrong with her?!"

Gibbs sighed. "She wants what she can't have and she's mad. A scorched earth policy is just her way of saying that life sucks."

"Okay if McGee is a unwilling participant, then what's the fascination for her? Seriously. We're talking about McGee here. Guy is about as exciting as an obituary."

"Come on, Tobias. McGee is sweet and he's a gentleman. He has no frame of reference for fighting with a woman. She likes that. She's like a lion toying with her prey."

"He could get a restraining order."

"Yeah, and what does he put on the protection order? 'She wants to have coffee with me.' I got a plan. All I need from you is to cut McGee some slack."

"He better pry himself loose from our ex-wife in the next week or I'm going to start digging a hole in the backyard."

Gibbs shook his head. "This is what comes from spending too much time in organized crime."

…

Playing a violin requires immense concentration and control; very much like what one needs when playing Abby Scuito.

"Gibbs, where's my Caf-Pow? I did good!" She trotted around him as expecting that it would be found lurking behind him.

Gibbs squeezed his eyes shut. "I forgot. Won't happen again, Abs."

"You never forget!" Her pigtails danced around her face.

"Got a lot on my mind."

"You always have a lot on your mind and you still never forget. Are you sick? I know you never have been before, but there's always a first time. Sit down. I'll call Ducky."

He resisted her efforts to wrangle him into a chair. "Not sick. Just worried."

"About what?"

Gibb shrugged. "I think someone we both care about might be getting in over his head."

She blinked. "Spill!"

"Ah, he asked me not to."

"No! No. No. You've come too far not to tell me more."

"He told me in confidence."

"I can keep a secret! I keep all kinds of secrets."

Gibbs sighed deeply. "It's McGee. He'd kill me if he knew I was telling you."

"Timmy? What's wrong with Timmy? I saw him just this morning. He looked fine."

Gibbs waited a beat. "He's ready to settle down."

She cocked her head. "What? I don't understand."

"You know, Abs. He's ready for a relationship."

"He always says that. He's not ready."

Gibbs frowned. "No, I think he's serious. Feels lonely."

"I took him bowling just last week."

"You're right. It's nothing. I just think he's vulnerable, and you know Diane's sort of on the market again."

Abby's eyes widened. "She wants Timmy?"

"Texted him 37 times yesterday."

"He never said anything."

Gibbs nodded. "This is what I'm afraid of. He's not talking to us. That means he could succumb to her charms."

"Charms? She manhandled him in his apartment. He was completely embarrassed."

"She is attractive."

"She's old."

"Abs, she's a very attractive woman and she goes after what she wants."

She bit her lip. "This is bad."

"Well, I gotta' go. I'll bring you a Caf-Pow later."

"Forget the Caf-Pow! We have to do something!"

"I wish there was a way to distract him or…something." He glanced at her reaction, but he only caught sight of her back as she ran out of the lab.

…..

"Timmy!"

McGee looked up from his computer. "Hi Abs."

"You look tired."

He shrugged. "I'm fine."

"Are you sure?"

He looked around the bullpen having gained everyone's attention. "Yeah. I mean I…sort of have…well, never mind. I'm fine."

Tony arched an eyebrow. "He looks peaked, and while that's natural for him, he does seem a little paler than usual."

"No, I don't." McGee checked his pallor in the light.

"You look fine," Ziva said.

"Well, I think you need a nice dinner. My treat. Let's you and I go out tonight."

He smiled. "That's nice, Abs. Normally, I'd say yes, but I got a thing tonight."

She narrowed her eyes. "What kind of thing?"

He shrugged. "Just a thing with a person."

"Do I know this person?"

McGee winced. "It's kind of private."

Tony shook his head. "You know we don't do private. Talk McGee or I will make your life a living hell."

"Believe me, someone's already working that angle."

Ziva jumped up. "Diane!"

McGee dropped his face in his hands. "She needs a friend."

"And she picks you?"

"I don't know, Tony. She won't leave me alone. And I mean, she really won't leave me alone. She is kind of nice though after a while. Her hair is nice and her mouth kind of turns up like a cupid bow. Maybe if I have a few drinks-"

"No!" The force of three simultaneous voices startled him.

"She just wants to talk. She says I'm a good listener."

Abby put her hands on his shoulders. "You can't go!"

"It's going to be fine, Abs. She'll talk. I'll listen and hopefully, she'll let me go home."

"Tell her you can't."

"I already said yes, and if you know Diane Sterling, she doesn't take no for an answer."

…..

Abby smoothed the black jersey wrap dress around her waist and checked her face in the mirror. Her hair was in one ponytail. McGee's favorite. She checked her lipstick, and then Ziva was there pinching her cheeks. "Stop Ziva! I have blush for that."

"You look very beautiful."

"Is she here?"

"Yes and she's looking impatient."

"Tony's handling McGee?"

"He's got him changing a flat about a mile back."

"Okay. I'm ready."

"We'll go together. Girl power."

The two dark beauties walked through the restaurant. Abby gasped when she saw Diane and pointed her out to Ziva. "Diane, how are you?"

Diane looked up. She was wearing a red dress with a disturbing amount of cleavage. "Ziva? Abby?"

Abby slid in across from her and Ziva took the chair beside her. "Funny running into you here."

"I guess so. Did you see Chucky? I mean, Tim. He and I are meeting for drinks."

"Oh yes, well he'll be along shortly, right Ziva?"

"Yes, Tony called and he has a flat. McGee is helping him."

"I didn't know all of you were coming."

"We needed a night out. Stressful job."

"Oh, I know."

Abby leaned forward. "So, you and Tim are friends?"

"It's been a horrendous couple of weeks, and McGee has been a wonderful shoulder for me to cry on."

Abby looked at Ziva. "Tim is a very sensitive person, you know."

"Oh yes. That's why I like talking to him so much."

"He's very special. So special that I can't help but worry about him."

Diane's brows rose. "Really?"

"He and I are very tight. Have been for a long time."

"He mentioned that," Diane said with a gleam in her eye. "Said you're like a sister to him."

Abby narrowed her eyes. "I wouldn't describe our relationship quite like that."

"Tell me more."

"McGee is my best friend and he's the person who understands me more than anyone else in the whole world."

"Well, I think he's looking for something a little more intimate in his life. Said he's ready to start a family."

Abby's mouth dropped.

"I mean, the two of you are best friends. Obviously, he tells you these things, right?"

"Diane, what I feel for Tim is very complicated."

"What's so complicated about being friends?"

Abby took a deep breath. "Have you ever had the kind of love that is so precious, so sweet that you want to protect it from everything?"

Diane smiled. "Love has never been sweet for me. It's always been animal crazy, deep and passionate."

Abby closed her eyes. "My love for him is perfect. I want him where I can find him every day. I live for his smile and the way he can complete my sentences, and how he understands every single one of my moods. I love the way he never tries to change me and how he thinks I'm beautiful."

Diane reached across the table and grabbed her hand. "Then why are you just friends?"

Abby bit her lip. "Because it's fragile. If I jostle it too much…what if it's too much and one of us changes? What if one of us gets hurt? It's better to just protect what we have."

Diane leaned back. "That's not enough."

Abby looked at Ziva in confusion. "What does that mean?"

"You treat love like fine china. I treat love like a drug that I can never get enough of. I dive in while you sit on the edge and dip your toes. Your version of love is cute, but it's small and silly."

"What?!" Abby was on her feet.

"You came to protect him from me, but how can you do that when you feed me some story about him being a sweet little figurine you are afraid will drop on the floor and shatter. Real love has to be stronger than that."

"You listen to me, Mrs. Ex-wife! Timmy is mine!"

Diane cocked her head. "That's a little better. What do you think, Ziva?"

"I…think I need a drink." Ziva was up and out of her chair before Abby could even protest.

"Sit down, Hello Kitty."

Abby sat and glared across the table.

"You want me to leave Chucky alone, right?"

She nodded.

"Then you have one week to stop playing Ken and Barbie, and show him what real love looks like. One week. If I come back and he's still got a "For Rent" sign hanging off of him, I'm going to take him for a ride he'll never forget. Put that in your pipe and smoke it." Diane got up, slung her coat over one shoulder, and slinked off into the night.

Ziva came back a few minutes later with a couple of drinks. "Abby? Where's Diane?"

"Huh?"

"Diane? Where did she go?"

Abby looked up. "I don't know."

"Are you okay?"

She shook her head sharply as if trying to regain focus. "I don't know, Ziva. I really don't know."

….

TBC


	2. Chapter 2

Spoiler: Devil's Trifecta

This was supposed to be merely comic, but then love got involved and complicated things. I struggled to find a balance. Hopefully, this works for you as a mindless bit of fun. There will be no further chapters to the tag that refused to die. Yes, Lia, this is still for you. Sheila

**Devil's Due Part III**

"Where is she?" Tim scanned the bar frantically.

"She left," Ziva said.

"No way. It's a trick. She's lying in wait. I'm going to have to sleep in another motel tonight. Why did you let her leave? Didn't you tell her about the flat tire? She's mad now, and I'm going to have to pay."

"She's not mad."

"She's always mad, Ziva. That's the only emotion she has access to."

"She's fine. She said she'll maybe call you in a week."

Tim shook his head. "That doesn't sound like her."

Tony frowned. "Why is Abbs over at the bar taking shots? She just downed two, and she's lifting another."

Ziva's eyes widened. "I got her."

She trotted over but was too late to save the liquor from sliding down Abby's throat. She grabbed her arm and steered her in the direction of their teammates.

Abby swayed a little as Ziva guided her to a chair. "Let's all have a little team bonding, shall we? Tony, go get some menus."

Abby reached for McGee's hands. "I love you, Timmy. You know that, right?"

"Of course, Abbs."

"But you never say it back," she slurred.

"Ah…well, I'm not as effusive as you are, Abbs, but I always assumed you knew that I loved you too."

Tony came back, his eyes riveted to the scene playing out before them.

"It's not a sweet love, Timmy. It's a deep, dark animal love. Did you know that?"

"Sure," he said patting her hands. "Like puppies."

"No, no, no. Not like puppies. Puppy love doesn't count. The she-devil will swallow you whole if it's just puppy love. I'm talking about growling, sweaty, dangerous tiger love."

McGee arched an eyebrow. "Excuse me?"

"Do you ever think about having sex with me anymore? Crazy, passionate sex. The kind where you tear clothes and bite skin and you don't care who's watching- you know like having loud, messy sex on this table right now. Do you ever think about that?"

"Wow!" said Tony leaning forward. "Say more."

"Tony!" Ziva slapped his arm.

McGee touched her face. "Abbs, are you okay? You seemed flushed. Maybe I should get you some water."

He tried to stand but she clung to him. "You don't want to have sex with me on this table right now?"

"Not particularly, no."

She screwed up her face and her eyes welled up with tears. "Then we're doomed. She's right. We don't have anything real."

"Who's right?" Tony asked.

"Diane! She said I didn't really love Timmy!"

McGee's head whipped around. "What the hell happened here, Ziva?"

"Abby told her to leave you alone, and she told she would only do it if Abby made a claim on you. She gave her a week."

McGee closed his eyes. "So Abby is willing to throw herself into the volcano for me, is that it?"

Abby wrapped her arms around his neck. "I would do anything for you, Timmy. Even this."

He extricated himself from her embrace. "I appreciate the sacrifice, but I can take care of myself."

"I want to do this for you!"

He got up stiffly, an odd look on his face. "I gotta' go."

"Hey McGee, sit down," Tony said.

McGee shook his head and walked away.

Abby threw up her arms. "What happened?!"

Tony watched McGee hurry past the restaurant windows. "Our geek has a lot of pride, and I think you just wounded it, Abby."

…

The bullpen was silent- too silent. Gibbs should've been relieved. This is the work atmosphere he was always fighting for, but it felt unnatural. The only one with life was DiNozzo, and that was only because he was studying McGee like he was a budding tropical storm.

The elevator opened and Tobias Fornell came their direction wearing a smile. Gibbs raised an eyebrow. "What's up? FBI complete its bid for world domination?"

"Had to testify this morning in the Scarpelli trial, and so I get there and I'm frustrated 'cause this scumbag has been implicated in 13 mob hits and our case is as thin as rice paper when the hump stands up suddenly, and falls dead of an aneurysm in the middle of everyone. Now, I'm free the whole day and I'm feeling good. Thought I'd take you to lunch."

"I don't turn down free meals."

Fornell spotted McGee. "Hey, how's it going, Kid? Sorry I was so hard on you a couple of weeks ago."

"It's fine," McGee mumbled as he continued work on his computer.

"I heard Diane's been stalking you a bit. Just hang in there. She'll get bored."

McGee shrugged. "Actually, it's not a problem. I'm kind of enjoying it, in fact."

Everyone froze. Gibbs stared at him. "Two days ago, you were hiding out in motels. What's the switch?"

"Ah…I guess she's growing on me. She's a beautiful woman, and she's got a body that just won't quit as I'm sure you both remember."

The smile on Fornell's face died. "What the hell does that mean!?"

He shrugged. "I might just stop running from her."

"Right…'cause she wants a geeky thing like you. She'll chew you up and spit you out, Boy."

"Maybe. Maybe not."

Fornell wagged a finger. "I had a feeling about you. Acting like mr. good guy all these years- I had a feeling."

Gibbs was up and began steering Fornell toward the elevator. "Come on, Tobias. I'm hungry."

"Did you hear what that little worm said about our ex-wife?!"

"Don't worry about it. I got everything under control." He looked over his shoulder and gave Tony eyes.

The elevator doors closed on Fornell's angry voice.

Tony and Ziva stared at McGee. "What gives, Probie? I've never seen you suicidal before."

"I'm tired of being pushed around. I'm not laying down for it anymore." McGee got up. "Diane uses me to make Gibbs jealous. Fornell's mad because he's still in love with her. The two of you treat me like I'm a pay per view event and then there's Abby. She has to get roaring drunk to even contemplate the possibility of a relationship with me. I've had it. You can all go to hell. Oh, and if anyone is looking for me, I'm going to lunch too."

Tony shook his head as he watched his retreating back. "I'm going to have to have a talk with him, Ziva."

…

"Tobias, enough! You were having a good day, remember?"

"I know you are. I can't believe you ordered a prime rib for lunch. Who does that?"

"A guy who's not going to eat again for the rest of the day. Plus, you were buying, Tobiascheap."

"I don't want to go back in there." He eyed the NCIS building suspiciously.

"We talked about this. McGee isn't doing anything with Diane. I know him. He's hit his limit. He just doesn't want to be accused or pushed or manipulated anymore. Not even I can intimidate him at this point."

As they approached the building, Gibbs noticed a lone figure in a lab coat sitting on a bench, a Caf-Pow by her side. He steered Fornell in her direction. "Abbs, taking a lunch break?"

She looked up at him with eyes ringed with smudged mascara. He sat down beside her. "Hey, what's wrong?"

"I got drunk last night and made a fool out of myself in front of McGee."

He frowned. "It's not like you to drink during the week. What happened?"

"Your ex-wife happened. She said she was going to take him away from me if I didn't prove my love for him was real. I got drunk and came at him like a Mack truck."

Fornell shook his head. "Diane is a menace."

She eyed him. "I don't blame her. I know she's hurting."

"Well don't blame McGee, Abbs."

She turned to Gibbs. "I don't blame him either. Who I do blame is the two of you."

"What?!"

"Neither one of you is man enough to deal with her so you push McGee in her way, and then you get mad at him when she ends up in his arms."

"It's a little more complicated than that."

She stood up and grabbed her Caf-Pow. "Well, you made it complicated for the rest of us as well now."

Abbs!"

She ignored him, black pigtails dancing in the breeze as she walked away.

…..

"Let's talk."

McGee looked up from where he was washing his hands. "In the bathroom?"

"I want to give you some advice about Abby."

"What did I tell you the last time you tried to give me advice about a girl?"

"Ah…you'd rather have a lap dance from a nun."

"Bingo!" Tim finished washing his hands and started for the door.

Tony blocked his path. "Now listen. I've been thinking about this and I have something to say. And you're going to listen."

McGee sighed. "Alright Tony, get it out of your system."

Tony took a deep breath. "I remember the day you went down to her lab with 'mom' tattooed on your ass, and I remember when you came back after lunch. Your feet didn't even touch the ground. I'd never seen anyone so love struck, but I didn't say anything because, you know, love scares the hell out of me."

"Get to the point, Tony."

"Damn, this sounded better in my head. McGee, you still love her like you did that day. I'd let myself believe that it had become a platonic love over the years, but when I saw the look on your face last night, I knew how wrong I was."

"You were drinking."

"You can't fool me, Tim. We've been through too much together."

"She doesn't want me, Tony. Didn't you see her last night? She was saying things she didn't want to say."

"Diane pushed her. It doesn't mean she doesn't feel these things, she just wasn't ready."

"That's your theory?"

"Tim, Abby is afraid of a lot of things, relationships being at the top of her list. If you keep waiting for her to make the first move, it's not going to happen. I can promise you that."

"I don't want to get hurt any worse than I am now."

Tony put his hands on McGee's shoulders and looked into his eyes. "Real love can't happen unless you take a risk. She's your soul mate, pal."

McGee stared back at him. "You going to take the same risk?"

Tony backed away suddenly, hands up. "Whoa! I know we are not talking about me right now."

…

McGee knocked on the door hard. The whole idea of this scared him silly, but he was determined to jump off a cliff, and he needed to do it before common sense took over.

Abbs opened the door and when she saw him, she ran straight into his arms. "Tell me that you're not mad anymore. Please!"

He drank in her distinct smell and relaxed into the hug. "I'm not mad anymore."

She stepped back. "Thank God! I am so sorry. I don't know what came over me. I got scared, and then I got crazy. That lady is wild. She's like a volcano, a tornado, and a hurricane all rolled up into one. How did Gibbs and Fornell survive her?"

"Yeah," he said smiling. "She's something."

She cocked her head. "Do you like her?"

He took her hand and led her into her living room. It was decorated in an eclectic mixture of goth, little girl, and scientist. The periodic table was on the wall bordered with pictures of puppies and skulls. It was weird but it was Abby, and he always felt oddly comfortable here. He dropped into a blood red velvet couch. "Sit down with me."

She curled up next to him. "You like the dragon lady, don't you?"

He thought for a long moment. "She's hurting right now. She wants something she can't have and she hasn't figured out how to live with that. I know something about living with what you can't have, and she wanted to know how I made it work. She doesn't want me for anything else."

"I don't understand. What is it that you can't have? Is it a relationship with your dad? That'll come, Timmy. I know it will. Look at Gibbs and Jackson, and then there's Tony and Senior. Let's not forget Ziva and Eli David."

He shook his head. "This is not about my dad. This is about love. It's about you, Abby."

She wrinkled her brow. "You have me, Timmy. You always have."

He reached over and pushed a lock of hair behind her ear. Then he took a deep breath. "I know. I always will, but I want more. I want you in every way imaginable. I want you to be my partner in life and have babies with me, and I want your face to be the last one I see when I leave this world. We don't talk like this. You and I dance around anything too serious. It works for us, but there is something about that red-haired devil that got stuck in my gut. She's not happy and she's running in circles, but she's fearless, Abbs. She doesn't mince words. You always know where you stand with her, and I guess I kind of admire that."

Abby's eyes were wide, but she said nothing.

He held her chin. "What we have now is something I've grown to appreciate very much. This confession doesn't have to change that. I have learned how to be your best friend in a way that's satisfying to me."

"But you want more…like tiger love."

"I don't want tiger love and I don't want puppy love. I just want you. But the key is learn to live with what we have. I won't let disappointment defeat me. That's what Diane is fighting with right now. That's the lesson she needs to learn."

"Why do you want me to know this?"

He stroked the side of her mouth with his thumb. "You should know that there is someone out there that loves you to your very core. And because it's time for me to be fearless for once. It seems a shame that it took so long to share my heart with you."

Her chin started to quiver.

"Shhhh," he frowned. "Don't get scared. I'm working very hard to be fearless. You have to do that too."

She nodded. He got up slowly.

"Where are you going?" She started after him.

He put up a hand. "I did what I came to do. Now you need some time. Okay?"

She hugged her long arms tightly around her middle as he slowly closed the door behind him.

…

McGee sat on a barstool nursing his fifth whiskey sour. It wasn't his kind of drink, but Diane kept ordering it for him, telling him it was the best kind of drink for broken hearts. She sat beside him eating from a bowl of peanuts, and aiming the shells at the bartender. Surprisingly, this act of aggression was working for her, and he'd been giving her free drinks for the last hour.

"Buck up, Chucky. Life's too short for regrets." She put a hand on his back and lightly massaged him.

"You let that hand go any lower, and I'll call 911," he mumbled as he debated whether he should dance on the bar or take a nap on it.

"Relax. You know where my heart lies."

They drank in silence for a few more minutes, and in his growing fog, McGee's position on touching shifted, and he suddenly had an urge to rest a hand on her exposed thigh. But before he could put such a move into action, she stiffened. He blinked, "I didn't even do anything."

"They're here," she hissed. "Both of them. I can smell 'em."

McGee's head popped up and she grabbed his arm tightly. "Don't let them know that you know that they are here."

His eyes narrowed as he tried to reason it through.

She clamped a hand on his thigh and said in an unnaturally loud voice, "What do you say, lover? My place or yours?"

McGee concentrated. "How about in the backseat of my car, you hot tamale mama!"

She rolled her eyes. "You sure are hot to trot, Chucky!"

Feeling his role, he reached over and slapped her behind sharply. "Okay, let's go, baby!"

He started to slide off the stool and found himself staring into Gibbs' cold, blue eyes. "Oh hi Boss! We didn't even see you come in just a minute ago. My date and I were just leaving."

Gibbs propped him back on the stool and signaled the bartender, before taking the stool beside him. "I'm going to need a strong coffee for this one."

Diane smirked at Fornell. "You don't have anything better to do than stalk me, Tobias?"

"My daughter is starting to forget what you look like. It's time to pull yourself together, Diane."

"I think Chucky will be an excellent influence on our daughter."

"Yeah, he can teach her how to hack."

McGee stabbed a finger in his direction. "You know, Fornell, I am more than just a hacker and an ex-wife stealer. I am a man of many…things. I am fearless!"

Gibbs pulled his arm back. "Just focus on your coffee, cowboy."

McGee jerked his head at Gibbs. "I was fearless tonight with Abby. Diane taught me how."

He arched a brow. "We'll fix it in the morning."

Diane sighed. "Come on, guys. Chucky and I were having a nice time."

"We heard the bad porn re-enactment."

"It's none of your business."

Gibbs leaned over. "It is my business because I have to deal with the fallout of you playing Mrs. Robinson with my agent."

She glared. "Chucky likes it."

"His name is not Chucky, and he is currently very distracted which makes me distinctly unhappy."

"It's okay, Boss. She taught me how to be fearless…even though everything is ruined now." His words ran together as he maneuvered the cocktail straws from his drink to his cup of coffee. Unable to find sweetener, he reached for a handful of maraschino cherries and dropped them in.

Gibbs shook his head and concentrated his energies on Diane. "It's time for you to end your reign of terror."

She sighed heavily. "I don't have anything to go home to."

Fornell rolled his eyes. "You have a beautiful daughter, and Victor just needs some time."

"I don't know if Victor is what I want," she said softly. The bartender dropped another whiskey sour in front of her and she smiled. Fornell grabbed it before she could take possession.

She rolled her eyes. "Why don't you guys leave me alone?"

Fornell slapped the bar. "Listen up! Let's cut the crap! The situation is this. You want Jethro, but he doesn't want you. Jethro wants what he had, but it's gone. I want you, but you don't want me. The kid over there wants…is he drinking coffee with cherries floating in it?!"

Diane looked at him. "You want me?"

Everyone stared at Fornell and he reddened. "I was just talking- it wasn't- I didn't- I don't want anything!"

"Tobias?"

"No, Diane! I fell for you hard, and I miss that. You are beautiful and smart and full of life, and I loved that. When you were pregnant and Emily was born- it was the best time of my life, but it's over and we can't go back there. I have learned to live with that."

Gibbs nodded. "He's right, Diane. You and I- we never had a chance. My heart was elsewhere, and I'm in a different place now. You and I don't want the same things."

"Are you sure?"

"Yeah. Tobias is right, Diane. The best way to live is to survive our disappointments, learn from them, and move forward. You have to learn from your mistakes. Running from relationships is one of your biggest. Don't make Victor another casualty you regret."

Diane stared straight ahead. Gibbs saw McGee motioning the bartender to bring some Kahlua over for his coffee and he clamped his hand over the cup.

Finally she blinked. "If I lost him, I would want him back. I always want them back."

Fornell nodded slowly. "Exactly! You can't keep piling up exes like cordwood."

"It's something to think about."

"Go home. Emily's there waiting for you. I told her I was bringing you home tonight. She likes a boy. She won't tell me a thing about it and I don't like it one bit. I'm thinking of asking Junior over there to hack her Facebook page."

"You'll do no such thing, Tobias! She'll never tell us anything if we do that. It's exactly the wrong thing to do. Come on. I'll talk to her. You stay out of it."

Fornell winked at Gibbs as he followed his ex out the door. Gibbs smiled and turned to find McGee reaching for more maraschino cherries. He slapped his hand and said, "Come on, Chucky. You can sleep it off on my couch tonight. Tomorrow, you can go home and shower before work."

Gibbs steered him toward the door. McGee looked over his shoulder at the door. "Boss, Diane said that she smelled you coming. I mean, I think she really did. That's weird, right?"

….

Tony and Ziva kept exchanging glances with each other as they contemplated Bert the hippo sitting in McGee's chair with a note around it's neck. Tony had tried to get close to the note several times, but Gibbs kept giving him a warning glare.

"Boss, he sure is late today."

"He'll be in."

"Yeah, but do we know for sure that he's okay? What if Diane dumped him in a ditch somewhere? Do we know that hasn't happened?"

Gibbs rolled his eyes. "DiNozzo!"

"He's here!" Ziva said as she peeked over her partition.

Everyone silently watched as McGee walked in the bullpen. He looked tired, but otherwise seemed to be in one piece. He stopped short when he saw Bert sitting at his desk.

"Oh, you're probably wondering about that, Tim," Tony said. "Bert is a probationary agent now. Gibbs has had him doing background checks all morning. I think you're sitting at a desk somewhere over there."

McGee ignored him. He put down his backpack slowly and picked up the hippo. Carefully, he removed the note from its collar. Not even Gibbs pretended to work as they watched him open it. He stared at it for a long time. Tony started to say something but Ziva threw a wad of paper at him.

Finally McGee sat down, blush rising in his cheeks.

"Spill, Tim!" Tony demanded.

McGee looked at him as if in a daze. "She feels hippo love for me."

"Huh?"

"It's big and deep, and it includes all the things I've always wanted."

Tony fist pumped the air and grinned madly at Ziva. "Did you hear that?!"

She leapt out of her chair and enveloped McGee in a hug. Then Tony was there, squeezing both of them.

"You know this is a place of work, people." Gibbs struggled to control the smile pulling at his mouth.

McGee pulled away from them. "Boss is right. This can't become a problem. We all have work to do."

He sat down and stared at his computer screen, still clutching Bert. The other two wandered back to their desks as well.

Gibbs sighed deeply. "She's never right without that damn stuffed animal. You better get down there and return it."

McGee's face lit up in a smile and he jumped out of his chair and headed for the stairs.

…..

The End


End file.
